


According to the Tabloids

by out_there



Category: Alias, Torchwood
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-09-14
Updated: 2008-09-14
Packaged: 2017-10-15 04:55:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/157245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/out_there/pseuds/out_there
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>"Ianto Jones, this is Jack Bristow," Jack said, and Bristow's shoulders stiffened. "We go back."</i></p><p><i>"How far back?" Ianto heard himself ask, and noticed Bristow's right hand move slightly closer to his body, like Jack when he was getting ready to pull his pistol.  "Or would you have to kill me if you told me?"</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	According to the Tabloids

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to [](http://celli.livejournal.com/profile)[**celli**](http://celli.livejournal.com/) for encouragement and her speedy instant beta service. No spoilers for either show, although [this shot of Jack Bristow](http://www.alias-tv.com/imgs/s3cast15.jpg) is nice just to look at.

According to the tabloids, Kylie Minogue had broken up with the current boyfriend or possibly got engaged to him, Jordan was expecting twins and the latest round of housemates in Big Brother had confessed to having a threesome in the communal shower. Reading those stories had been the highlight of Ianto's day, until the door chimed and a grey-haired man stepped into the tourist office.

His suit was grey and simple, but the quality was good and it clearly hadn't been cheap. He was probably in his early fifties, but Ianto couldn't be sure. "I was hoping to speak to your supervisor," he said, in a mild German accent.

Ianto stayed leaning on the counter and flicked over another page of newspaper print. "Sorry, no supervisor on site. We're hardly busy enough to pay me."

"Ah," the man said and nodded. His eyes flicked up to the corner behind Ianto (where the CCTV camera was hidden from view) and then he... It wasn't a smile, wasn't even a smirk, but there was a slight lift to the sides of his mouth that suggested a possible smile sometime in the future. "Perhaps you could tell your supervisor I was looking for him."

Ianto shrugged. "Happy to tell her. Don't know if she'll care much, mind."

"My card." The man lifted a card from his inside breast pocket. It was plain black text on white, stating Niklas Weisner and an architect's firm, but when Ianto flicked it over it said: _Jack. Need help. Call me._ and had a mobile number. "If you could pass it on?"

"Sure," Ianto said, nodding and slipping it into his pocket. He wondered if he should wait for Jack to return or call him and tell him now, but then there was a jingle of the door and a swirl of military coat, and Jack's smile. "Jack," Ianto said.

"Jack," the stranger echoed coolly.

Jack's grin got wider. "Jack!"

"There are over 50,000 words in the English language," Ianto said. "Feel free to use more than one."

Jack shot a quick, reprimanding glance at Ianto but it was a spoiled by his amused grin. "Ianto Jones, this is Jack Bristow," Jack said, and Bristow's shoulders stiffened. "We go back."

"How far back?" Ianto heard himself ask, and noticed Bristow's right hand move slightly closer to his body, like Jack when he was getting ready to pull his pistol. "Or would you have to kill me if you told me?"

"Hopefully not." Bristow either had a very dry sense of humour -- dry like the Sahara -- or he was completely serious. "We have better ways of taking care of sensitive information."

While Ianto blinked in surprise, Jack laughed. "No killing Ianto. He's one of mine."

"I assumed so from the suit."

"Meaning?" Ianto asked.

There was a microsecond long smirk on Bristow's face, and then he ignored Ianto completely and turned to Jack. "We need to talk."

"Go ahead."

Bristow looked around the room. Ianto didn't miss the way his gaze paused at each of the hidden CCTV cameras. "Here?"

Jack sighed dramatically. "I get in trouble when I take exes down to my office, so it'll have to be here."

Under normal circumstances, Ianto would have been embarrassed. With Bristow raising one silver eyebrow at him -- and not arguing the "ex" description -- Ianto settled on smiling cheerily instead.

"I need information," Bristow said slowly. When Jack nodded for him to continue, he said, "An artifact has gone missing."

"Tell me you and Arvin aren't still chasing the Rambaldi rubbish?" Over Bristow's shoulder, Jack grinned at Ianto. "I swear, one scientifically minded Ebultian lands in Renaissance Italy, and you never hear the end of it."

***

After the running and the shooting, and the costume changes and avoiding alarms, and Ianto muttering under his breath about remembering what happened last time they helped one of Jack's exes, there was Glenfiddich, and Gwen sneaking the wig into her handbag, and Bristow saying, "Thanks," and disappearing with a suitcase.

Ianto would've complained about it not being an average day, but Torchwood never had average days. So instead he said, "You slept with him? Really?"

"Yeah," Jack said, grinning widely and sounding very smug. "If you think he's hot now, you should have seen him at twenty-seven."

Ianto hadn't said Bristow was hot. He'd been quite careful not to even think it in Jack's presence. "I never said he was hot."

"So when he rolled you out of the way of the explosion," Jack said, laughing and tugging Ianto against him with a hand on each hip, "you were panting from... fear?"

"Life. Threatening. Explosion," Ianto said slowly, stretching each word with sarcasm. "A building blew up."

"Uh-huh?" Jack murmured, pressing a warm kiss to Ianto's cheek. Ianto decided there wasn't much arguing it (especially since Jack was right).

"So you have you seen him in the last thirty years?"

"He drops by from time to time." Jack saw the expression on Ianto's face and added, "Professional basis. Information. ...mostly."

"Mostly?"

"Apart from the time his wife disappeared, and the other time she disappeared, and his daughter disappeared, and the other time _she_ disappeared, I haven't seen him naked in at least twenty years."

"Perhaps his whole family should invest in GPS," Ianto muttered darkly, frowning until Jack kissed him with definite intent.

"You really going to tell me you don't see the appeal of sleeping with someone who always has a gun close to hand and would kill to protect you?"

Ianto opened his mouth to point out that not everyone was attracted to psychotics when Jack rolled his hips against Ianto and he felt the pistol at Jack's side. Ianto leaned in and dropped a quick kiss on Jack's smiling lips. "I prefer someone who's capable of laughing."


End file.
